Have We Lost Our Minds?
Pregnant with our fourth child, my husband has a moment of inspiration and suggests a cross-country family trip during maternity leave.
Outfitting the Whip
When I think of having a new baby, my mind pictures endless days of Netflix and Hulu, family and friends visiting, freezers full of home cooked meals (not by the new mother, of course!), walks around the neighborhood, and couch snuggling (sleeping) with a new bundle of joy perched on your chest. This is precisely nohing of what my fourth child has gotten to experience in his short 4 week life. Oh sure, friends and family visit and our freezer is full. There has been a walk in the neighborhood with a friend that was visiting so two checks for that day! But mostly our days are consumed with preparations for this trip. This trip. This trip requires the suburban's windows to be tinted, weather deflectors installed, a dash camera, a GoPro with front window mount, and for the vehicle to be repainted? Ok, so the repainting is because someone hit the suburban in a parking lot in which they decided to drive Mach 10 speed in reverse and damage from the bumper to the right rear passenger door after my pre-op appt six days before baby came.
I should have filmed the police officer's face when he saw me behind the wheel, belly and all. We assured him that I was not in the car but following behind in my car so I had the pleasure of witnessing my beloved husband and two youngest offspring being collided with out of the blue and the sturdy suburban jostled in such a violent manner.
This incident is mostly behind us now after being without our main mode of transportation for over a month thanks to our uninsured/underinsured coverage. During that time, however, our secondary car required an extensive visit to the engine doctor. Thankfully, my brother lent us their Tahoe for about two weeks. My husband likes to remind me that somehow things work out. He says this because as we are driving to my parents, the engine starts knocking, we make it to my father's repair shop just as my brother is pulling in behind my mom. My mother and I continue our trip to visit with my aunt. My brother offers the use of the Tahoe and drives said husband back to his house to get it (55 min drive!). Like seriously, who would you call right now if you were stranded with your family of six and needed a vehicle that fit four car seats. I do love my family.
My brother allowed us to continue the preparations since most of these purchases required a mini-road trip to meet whoever was on the other end of the Craigslist deal. With George it is never only about the purchase, but the hunt that comes with it. Like a lion stalking its prey. The hunt is how we end up four counties over buying a battery operated lantern and bear spray. Bear spray-let's all pray right now it comes back in a condition that could warrant it being restocked on the shelf. George is getting everything just so for this trip when it comes to the suburban. Which I got to hand it to him, it will be pretty much home for a couple weeks so I am glad he is making it everything we need it to be and more. Cause for real, a dash camera and the front windshield mounted GoPro? I still don't understand why we need both.
Update: I feel like the worst person in the world (not really) but, for real, how could I have ever forgotten the roof top carrier? George has recently dabbled into the Facebook Marketplace world. He is so glad that he did because he became the proud owner of a brand new Thule Atlantis 2100...... with a huge crack in the back. So now onto how to fix the crack in plastic. George thought he found an ABS plastic welder that was only a 2 hour drive away. Easy peasy for this guy to sweet talk his family into another day trip. Problem is the guy never called him back. Onto to Plan like D at this point and he purchases plastic epoxy from Lowe's Home Improvement. In reading the instructions (for once in his life), George takes note that the compound will only cure from 39 - 70 F. Y'all it is the south and summer. I pray for a day that is 70 degrees. Solutions are never far away with George at the helm so the coffin gets moves inside. Of course, I am recruited to help carry the mammoth box in my night gown, none the less. It may have been in the middle of the afternoon. :) I am trying to make the best of my maternity leave and no plans means no real clothes.
My poor field of vision now. How can I enjoy Bob Ross on Hulu with the huge plastic coffin in the middle of the living room? And the smell? Do not get me started. When George says, "Come get the baby out of the swing. I don't think he should be breathing this". I worry about all of us, not just the 4 week old. Morale of the story is the KISS method tends to work more often than calling an ABS plastic welder that is 2 hours away and charges $65/hour for repairs. And, yes, two days later this is still the view from the couch.
Mother of four children living up the maternity leave from the job of an agriculture teacher.